evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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