No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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