watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
