were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
