you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
