Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I supernannyed him into submission
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
