my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
