So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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