Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
