all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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