Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
