You can't motorboat a personality
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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