somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
