got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
