He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
