Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
40s are totally the cure
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
