I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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