so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
