I got chris browned last night
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
