Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
