how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
