i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
