for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
