my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
