i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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