For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
