Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize