I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
