i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Randomize
