So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That accounts for only three of the penises
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Let's get the cat blown out
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
