Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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