Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize