I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
