3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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