I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
