whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize