I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm like, not good at living.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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