so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
