don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
