"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
