I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
