You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
