I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize
