It's just like the Real World with babies
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize