Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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