Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
