I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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