alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
