i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
