I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
