Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
