it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize