Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
