They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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