I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
How external is "for external use only"?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
