3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
