and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
