you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
operation have a gay friend backfired
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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