I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize