I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
