I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
