I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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