i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
