I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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