Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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